My Thoughts of You

Will you lay with me

Cover me with your arms 

Look into my eyes as if you’ve found me 

Wonder if I feel the same 

Catch my heart for my mind is already yours 

Your smile says it all

Your laugh is like nothing I’ve heard before

Will you unleash your halt on me

I’ll never stop touching you as long as I breathe 

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The Feeling

My heart warms to you 

You’ve crept in my thoughts 

You’ve given me wants 

I wish not to give in the need

For it’s my life it will feed

The thought of you makes my body rise 

I feel like my heart will never die 

I’ve lingered on your words for it touches my heart

You make me feel like we’re never apart

Your hand gives me chills like no other 

You’ve left me calling you by name…my lover 

A Place to Go

The taste of life would be a sweet breeze

This would indeed bring me to my knees

The  light shining down on my face 

Feeling like I’m in a new place

There is no bad, sad or mad

It’s just light that soothes me

I’d like to know where the butterflies go to meet

To flourish over the land 

Wanting to be there to touch my hand 

To graze my face

To keep me in that peacefully place

 No Pieces 

I laid on his chest 

My mind for a moment was a rest

I could breathe

I  felt he knew my need

His embrace was strong from know harm 

It’s like, he knows me beneath this skin

I felt like I breathe…again

I don’t want to walk away from his arms,  his embrace 

He leads me to escape 

Escape the twisted take of how I came to be 

A piece of him…it’s within me

Emilie 

A Daughters Pain

She hates us

We disgrace her

She wants us to disappear

She wants her mother to reappear 

She wants to yell at her for all the things she did wrong

In her eyes its been way too long  

She wants to scream at her and make her cry

She wants to make her feel like she wants to die

There’s no more hugs, no more cries 

There’s only hurt inside

The pain she goes through is so severe 

She pushes ever one away, and refuses to have us near 

The person she wants is no longer here to listen 

She’s not here to wipes her eyes and say everything is okay

She not here to keep her demons or her daughters demon at bay

We don’t want to sleep knowing she’s in such pain

We wish we could take the pain away

We want to keep her demons at bay 

If only she wanted us stay

Emilie

Reflection

I walk in the room and there she is staring back at me

She smirks and hangs her head low

She stays but, silently as if she has no where to go

I sit down to have a drink

I look up and she gets closer with a smirk on her face

She bends over to me ear to whisper how does that taste

I start to answer the question but, she interrupts

She says I know its hurts

She also says your not a dirty rag left on the floor

You are better then you know, for this is what I have in store

You an either stop drinking and stop feeling low

Or you can sit here and never let go

Either way the situation doesn’t change

But, you can look within your heart to rearrange

Yes, what you’ve been dealt is a hell of a hand

I will not bother to tell you I understand

We all have our own stories which will unfold

But, go to the one that fills your heart to hold

Look at what the see in you and see how you see yourself

You shouldn’t hold yourself alone

There’s nothing to atone

Your worries and concerns will always hold you back

This is not a promise…this is indeed a fact

Emile

(I wrote this thinking of being in a bar but, the person talking to me is a reflection in the mirror of me)

Shattered End

My mind is like shattered glass on the floor
I look down to see my reflection

I see nothing at all

It is because I can’t see myself

I feel like I’m covered with thick lining

I try and stretch my way out but, it’s binding

I start to panic, as I can barely breathe

The lining gets thicker and tight

I’ve tried to put up a good fight

I feel like it will never let me go

To take my last breathe because, it will not show ease

I’m doomed from here

No way to please

Emile

A Wish

A wish, a thought of something nice

A thought that would be maybe make us thinks twice

There are so many wants

So many needs

I doubt at the end, they’ll be nothing to please

We mix our wants at times with desire

To be looked upon, to be admired

You ask for just 1 wish

I’ll give you this

A mind that is not so troubled

When I wake up I’m forever humbled

To take the mind that once were

To have this twisted present as a blur

To be able to recognize myself

To stay in better in health

To hold a child that I no longer see as mine

To be able to give her a mothers time

This is my 1 wish you see

To go back and be a better version of me

Emilie

A Bleeding Heart

I show myself when no one is around

I show myself when you are out of town

For your actions lead me heartbroken

I feel like in your yes I’m just a token

Something to say I was just here

But as you continue to walk away, I’m in fear

I thought everything was going alright

Lately, only to me your always uptight

No matter what I do nothing feels right

I miss when things were okay

I miss when you said you would stay

Now, I see you, and all you do is walk forward and fast

I know you no longer want me around

Some how I’ve broken you and you’ve cast me to the ground

I’m sorry I can’t bring the person you want back

I know you need her in your life

A piece of her leaving strike you like a sharp knife

Please know it wasn’t her intention to go

She couldn’t hold on any longer

Her mind didn’t grow stronger

I’m afraid her mind broke in pieces

Her heart is no longer here

She will never appear

I’m sorry she’s gone and this place feels like a dome

Neither one of us feels like this is our home

I know I’m not your mom but, I can do my best to be there for you

Whatever it is I’ll help you get through

 

(for our youngest who hurt shows through, for the absence of her mom)

Emile

This Disease

I wake up with noise in my head

Voices scrambling to be picked first

I’ve felt like my head is going to burst

I can’t seem to get my thoughts threw

Everything I see feels untrue

The doubt in my head spreads to everyone

My nerves are tight

My body temperature is high

My heart feels like it’s going to let me die

These moments are hard to past

Nothing I take slows it down but, makes it last

Am I doomed to be stuck, feeling that makes me want to give up

Is there any good luck

I warn myself that I’m in a danger zone

There’s no one to talk to that will be able to put me at ease

No one to take this disease

Emilie